(To be sung while pretending to be Julie Andrews)
“Girls in black dresses with beige, not black stockings,
The distinct lack of manners, these days I find shocking,
Never finding my cell phone till it’s on its last ring,
These are a few of my least favorite things.
Stain magnet silk blouses, pineapple on pizza,
when folks try to hug you the first time they meets ya,
Alternative youth with pierced lips and nose rings
Doesn’t seem worth the infection it brings.”